Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck

I just got a call from N. She said she was at the furniture store buying a couch and wanted me to bring my truck and pick it up for her. This was a little suprising because I didn't think her Mom was actually going to give her $400 dollars for a couch but oh well. I was a little perterbed about being caught off gaurd but I grabbed my keys and rushed out the door.

When I got to the store, I entered to see N and Dude standing in the back. I went flush with hatred. I hate Dude with a passion. He is an old boyfriend of hers whom she stays in touch with and has recently been sleeping with. She told me all they are doing is sleeping and no fucking because they were just lonely and wanted a buddy to sleep with but I'm not sure if I believe it. So anyway, there he was in all his fucking pajamaed glory standing there like a punching bag that I wanted to walk right up to and wail on. But I didn't. We picked up the couch and put it in my truck. In conversation she mentioned that she called in sick to her volunteer job so she could go home and sleep and I immediatly knew that meant she was probably napping with dude in her bed.

Spark. jelousy, rage.

Not that I'm so mad at her, just that I instantly develop a hatred for any other guy she might be seeing at any given time. Of course I kept all my emotions deep within as always. Never let them show.

We dropped the couch off at her house and put it in her room, nice couch, looks much better than the old one.

I went back outside to fiddle with my truck and she came out. She thanked me for the help and hugged me several times. No kisses, not a peck. She promised me dinner tonight and then we said goodbye until work later this evening.

Fuck Fuck Fuck.


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