Sunday, January 23, 2005

I didn't really feel much

The other night when O and I went to dinner, not much happened. We went to dinner, had some nice conversation, I gave her the Christmas present that I got for her, and that was pretty much it. I didn't really feel much, we didn't connect, she didn't seem interested in me for anything other than hanging out.

This evening I rented a movie to watch and invited her over via IM, I never heard back from her, but she has a different away message up now than earlier, so I'm pretty sure she got the message. From that standpoint, and from dinner the other night, I would say that we are pretty much finished, if there was even and "us" in the begining. I'm bummed, but it's no major loss. Oh well.

On another front, things are going well with N right now. Since she told me last week that she stills thinks she will marry me someday, it has made me a lot more at ease with everything. I feel more like I can just relax, go with the flow and enjoy having her in my life even if she isn't my life.

She asked me to stay over on Tuesday night and I think I'm going to. I don't know what will happen but I'm exited and nervous at the possibilities. Where will it go? Probably nowhere, but at least I'll get to stay with her and cuddle her, if for only one night.

Mood: Hopeful
Music: Dave Matthews

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