Tuesday, April 05, 2005

"J, I need a break."

It was one year ago today that my life took a turn. In some aspects for the worse, some for the better. This will be a several part series that will recount a pivotal time in my life.

If you're just joining us now, you missed a brilliant speech lets go now live to Part I: On Being Fat and find out what the voters think.

Part II - "J, I need a break."

Last spring break, N and I split time between our families. For the first half of the break, we went to see her Mom. For the second half, we traveled up to NC to see my family and also see some more of her family.

The first part of the trip was pretty good, just a nice relaxing time. At the time though N was still having some emotional issues. She was still trying to cope with the loss of her Dad and handle school. Her brother had graduated and moved away, so that support for her was lost. She was unsure of where she was in her life and where she wanted to go.

In between trips, we stayed here at home for a night. That night, she went out with a friend. Little did I know, but something happened that night, what exactly, I'm still not quite sure of. The rest of spring break seemed to go pretty well. We got up to NC and had a good time seeing both my and her family.

Then, the morning we were coming home, we drove over to my Mom's apartment to pick up my little sister. (She was coming back to school with us to visit for a few days) On the ride over, she said that she didn't think she would be staying over while my sister was down. This came as quite a shock, because we had stayed together for pretty much the last year and a half so I was a bit taken aback. Additionally, she seemed to be acting weird, something was off. I didn't really know what, but I could tell something was not right.

The rest of the ride home, things were just weird and uptight. I was really nervous about what was happening and all torn up on the inside. I remember we stopped at a Burger King for lunch that day. For whatever reason, I wasn't really hungry. I remember ordering a small fry and not even eating all of it.

That night, after we got home, she went to her house, and my sister and I went over to mine. I was just getting my sister settled in and making her a place to sleep on the floor when the phone rang.

I flipped it open and saw N flash on the caller ID. I was hoping it was her saying she had changed her mind and would be coming over soon to stay the night. Instead, after I said hello, she said, "J, I need a break."

I was floored. I remember telling her to hold on while I walked outside to the balcony. I asked her again what she said and she repeated it. I asked her why and what was going on. She said she didn't know, but that she needed a break.

I didn't know what to do. I cried a lot that night. I'm just glad that my sister was there to help support me. She provided comfort and aid through a very hard night.

Stay tuned for Part III.

Mood: Blah
Music: From First to Last

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