Saturday, May 28, 2005

Here comes the really interesting part.

I have a new crush. There is this girl that brings her dogs into the store. She has been bringing them for pretty much the whole time that I've been there and I have always found her pretty attractive. With all the stuff going on with N though, I didn't think about her too much, much less think about asking her out.

I'm not sure what brought it up, maybe it was just me and my manager talking about her one morning after she dropped her boys off. I must have mentioned that I thought she was cute of something. After talking about it some more, my boss asked me why I didn't just ask her out.

I guess there were two reasons for that. 1. I didn't know whether or not she was single. 2. I hadn't really thought about her in that context.

Well, I put my boss up to the task of finding out whether or not she was single, turns out she is. And from the way my boss tells it, seemed at least a little bit interested in the fact that I was interested in her.

So, over the next few weeks, I have tried to start talking to her a bit when she comes in. She is really sweet and very cute. It turns out that she was a microbiology major and now works at the state forensics lab her in town. Pretty cool stuff if you ask me.

Through the course of talking to her, and watching her and having my boss (who knows much more about her than I do) talk about her, I have developed a bit of a crush on her.

I've put my mind to the fact that I'm going to ask her out after I come back from my trip. So, sometime next week. I'm not sure how I want to do it yet, because I actually feel a bit weird about it. I mean, I only see her while I'm working, and she is a customer, so it kind of feels weird to be asking her out in that situation. I've been asking my boss what she thinks, whether it is even a good idea at all.

She has actually been pretty helpful and has come up with what I consider the best idea so far. She is a runner, and I'm a runner, so here in theory is how it is going to go down.

J: Hey, so I understand you are a runner.
Girl: Yeah, I am. I'm actually training for the police academy.
J: Oh cool. Well, I'm a runner to and I've been looking for someone to run with. Do you think you'd like to get together sometime and go for a run.
Girl: Yeah, that sounds nice.

Yeah, cheezy, corny, call it what you will, but it's all I've got right now. The best I can think of given the situation. If she does go for it. We'll see how it goes, then maybe a dinner invitation will be in order. I even know where I'd like to take her if she'd agree. One step at a time though.

Oh, and here comes the really interesting part. At first I figured she was just a student, maybe a grad student. But, when I found out she works at the forensics lab, I knew she had to be a little older. She seems to be in pretty good shape, so I thought she was 24, maybe 25. Well, it turns out that she is 29. That kinda weirded me out at first when I found out, but upon further reflection, I think it might actually make things more interesting. Yeah, that's right, I've been mentally exploring the possibilities.

Mood: Up
Music: Dave Matthews Band

Friday, May 27, 2005

Six months...

Six months...

Six months. Six months can seem like such a short amount of time. If you have ever been in a relationship that lasted more than a year, you already know what I mean. The first six months of dating someone can seem to fly by. You fall deeply in love with someone and are head over heels for them. The first six months of a relationship is also known as the honeymoon period. Generally, in this period, you and your significant other are shagging the daylights out of one another. You hardly do anything else other than fuck. For example, my roommate is still in the honeymoon period with his lover and at this moment, he is across the apartment shagging her senseless.

Six months can pass by really quickly in other terms too. Think about the six months from say, labor day to St. Patrick's Day. If you are a student, you start back to school, have Halloween and Thanksgiving, then come Christmas and before you know it, three months of your life are gone. Compared to the summer, months, that six month period seems to fly by with all the food, candy, celebrating and family gatherings.

Six months can also be a fucking eternity (and here we get to what this post is really about). I imagine as an inmate, the last six months of ones term must drag on for what seems like forever. For a pregnant woman, I bet the last six months of carrying a baby to full term are hell.

For a sailor, six months aboard a Navy vessel must be torturous. Let's take J2 for example. J2 is just like any other red blooded male in his early twenties. Wild, crazy, and horny as hell. Now, imagine this prototypical guy stuck aboard a navy destroyer for six months at a time. Nothing but the wide open ocean and a computer screen to look at. Pretty miserable. Now, take say 300 men from the same demographic and stick them on the same ship together and you have a recipe for disaster.

I haven't gotten a complete account of the last six months of J2's life yet, but in all honesty, I'm not sure that I really want one. If I let my imagination run free, I get scary mental images that involve dropped soap, my best friend and a fellow midshipman. Not something I really want to think about.

I'll take the tails of only grilled cheese sandwiches for a week when supplies failed to arrive, or 'shower hours' when the reverse osmosis machine broke, but the rest of it, I think I'll pass on.

Well, thankfully, J2's first six months aboard the lonely ship have come and gone, he is returning home to a hero's welcome no doubt. I'm sure JYH (Mother of J2), was waving a banner with balloons as her baby boy pulled into port this morning.

On Sunday after work, I will travel across our fine state to go see my friend who is now a wartime veteran. No doubt there will be lots of drinks and many stories passed around and maybe just maybe, a welcome home tattoo will be in order.

I'm looking forward to spending Memorial Day with my friend of more than ten years, I just hope that when he gets wasted, stories of the good ol days out to sea with 'the boys' don't come up.

J2, save those for the grandchildren.

Mood: Pithy
Music: None

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

I mean this, I'm Ok (Trust me)

N acquired some kittens while she was visiting her Mom this weekend. They are pretty tiny and still need their Mother, so they have been quite a handful to take care of.

After we finished a dinner of KFC chicken, she left to go home for the evening. Not twenty minutes later, she called me needing help. One of the kittens figured out he could put his head through the bars of the cage, and was in danger of hanging himself. I asked my roommate, who has a more suitable kennel if she could borrow it for a few days. He agreed, and she asked me to bring it over.

After tidying up some loose ends here on my homefront, I grabbed the kennel, threw it in the back of my truck and was off.

It's official, has been for some time, but I just haven't had the heart to blog it. N is with the Dude. As fugley, fat, and generally a fuck up as he is, he is now with her.

So far, I've done a pretty good job at coming to terms with it. It just makes me uncomfortable to see him at her house or pretty much acknowledge his existence in any way.

When I think about him occupying by all rights what I consider to be my place or space in her life, I get 1) depressed and 2) mad. Not like I'd do anything about it to physically hurt the dude (but, damn it would be satisfying to smote him in the head) but, it still hurts and pokes me in a tender place when I see his car parked over there, especially in the morning.
*End Tangent*

I drove over to her place, with the kennel in the back in a pretty good mood, rockin out to some Alkaline Trio. As I passed her place on the road side, I was relieved to not see his car pulled into the drive. As I pulled around to the side that we park on, I rolled into the drive and saw his piece of shit Honda parked next to her car. Fuck.

So, I pulled up, put on my game face and hopped out. Grabbing the kennel, I walked up to the door and peaked my head into the open window. There sitting on her couch, stuffing his face, watching my (at least 1/2 mine) Tivo was the Dude.

Making eye contact, I curtly said, "Is N around?" He replied, summoning her from the bedroom. Fumbling with my keys, he finally opened the door, and I went about the business of repositioning and readjusting the kittens. This task was accomplished in utter silence on my part, pretty much completely ignoring his presence. (As childish as it might be, the only way I can do it).

At one point, as I was sliding the new kennel into place, I looked over at him. He was bent over, looking for one of the escaped kittens and I had the complete displeasure of seeing his hairy plumber ass. Fuck dude, get a God Damn belt, you fat ass lazy fucktard.

After finishing my task and completing the transfer of kittens, I went into N's bedroom to let her know I was leaving. Through the bathroom door, she told me to hang on. There was no way I was staying in there to make small talk with the Dude, so I headed outside to hang out.

She finally came out, and thanked me for coming over. We said goodnight after she asked me several times if I was ok. Of course I replied that I was fine. There's no way that I could let her know how hurt I was right at that moment.

I was a lot like that song by My Chemical Romance, you know the one that goes a little something like this:
I'm Ok, I'm Ok
I'm Ok now, I'm Ok now
but you really need to listen to me, because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm Ok (Trust me)
I'm not Ok, I'm not Ok, I'm not Ok, I'm not OfuckinK
Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

But, this is me moving on. You probably won't believe it, but I have made remarkable progress in the last two weeks as far as coming to terms and moving on is concerned. For instance, there is a new girl that I'm interested in. She brings her dogs into work, and I have already found out that she is single, which is a start. After I get my next paycheck, plans are to ask her out to dinner or something. We'll see.

But for now, I'm ok, trust me.

Mood: Ok
Music: My Chemical Romance

Saturday, May 21, 2005

You know it's been a rough night when you come out in the morning to find your vehicle parked like this. I have no idea how I escaped a DUI, I was hammered... Posted by Hello

Friday, May 20, 2005

decent company

So here we are1:40 am, and I am finally returning home.

I went out to the poolhall tonight with a good friend and some not so good friends. The not so good friends were decent company, and the good friend was great company. We toatsted the night away to J2, per his request. He is preseumably crossing the atlantic, and it only seemed natural that we dedicate our beers to him.

Upon the advice of the friend I went out with, we placed our obligitory drunk call to J2's sister in New York. She is a graduate of my university and currently a producer at Wonder Showzen (you might have seen it Sundays on MTV 2). We harrased her for a while. Then she shut her phone off and didnt' accept anymore customary drunk calls. At leasst I will see her next weekened.

The night was full of beer and stories, some of which I might recall tomorrow, now I sleep. Goongiht.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Mock blaster shootouts and other adventures.

I've been thinking for a few days about the best way to approach this topic. I'm not actually sure that I have decided on the most efficent and entertaining way but, I'm throwing caution to the wind, so here goes.

The first memory of the Star Wars universe that I have is having watched A New Hope at a very young age one summer morning. I don't think we owned the movie on VHS, so we must have borrowed it from one of my neighbors. I remember being completely enthralled with the movie and subsequently going over to a friends house to have mock blaster shootouts and other adventures.

In junior high Lucas released the digitally remastered and altered (read: Han shoots first) trilogy. This was a big deal for me and my fellow nerd comrades. All of us loved the movies, but had never seen them in the theatres like our parents or even in some cases, our older brothers. It was awesome to hit the theaters and get the real Star Wars experience. Then of course, we all went out and bought the Trilogy VHS tapes as they were released.

After we moved out west and I was in high school, word came that production had started on teh prequals. The guy who sat next to me in chemistry Junior year was also a fellow nerd, and we counted down the days until The Phantom Menace was released in theatres. That was six years ago today, and I can still remember how excited I was to go see a Star Wars movie for the first time in a theatre. I wasn't lucky enough to attend a midnight showing, but one of my friends was, he came to school the next morning raving about how good the movie was and actually spoiled it for me by telling me what happend. Bastard.

I remember actually liking The Phantom Menace when I first saw it, but I think that was just because it was a new Star Wars movie and not because I actually watched it with a critical eye.

Next came Attack of the Clones which stirred similar outbursts of geekery from me.

This weekend, I will attend my last ever screening of a new Star Wars movie (unless Lucas changes his mind). Just as I did for Episodes I and II, I have high hopes for the movie. Reviews so far have been good, so hopefully the movie will live up to expectations.

Today, I dusted off my VHS copy of The Phantom Menace and popped it into the VCR, since I don't own Attack of the Clones, tomorrow a trip to Blockbuster will be required to go rent it, bring it home and watch it.

Then, with the preceeding plot lines fresh in my mind, I will head off to the theatres sometime this weekend to see Episode III. It will truly be the end of an era. I'm not sure how I feel about it, almost apathetic I think, which I'm disappointed about. I think it's that I just don't want to set myself up for disappointment as happened with I and II.

I'm setting the bar low, hopefully Lucas will head out on a high note and clear it with ease.

Mood: Tired
Music: Pedro the Lion

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Ukrainian-English dictionary.

One of my best friends has been deployed in the Mediterranean for a while now. He is nearing the end of his six month cruise and getting ready to come home. As is our custom, we have been trading some pretty funny emails for the last month or so. I've seriously considered blogging some of our conversations, but never really gotten around to it. Well, the time has come and for your reading pleasure here comes our last set of emails.

Let me just set the stage for you. The other day while I was at work, I got a call from a strange number. The number was extra long, and I immediately recognized it as a foreign number. It was strange, I suspected it was him, but wasn't sure since he usually calls with a calling card. Anyway, he was in the Ukraine drunkenly herding his fellow shipmates back to the destroyer. The conversation lasted for a few minutes but was nothing special. Realizing that I forgot to ask THE critical question in our conversations, I quickly emailed him and this is what transpired.

(My words in Red, his in Teal; he will be known as J2)

Hey: So, did you find a nice young Ukranian girl to pull?

i found a girl but she said i was a shitty dancer, but we still hung out at the bar and the language barrier was kinda bad. later in the night when we were both intoxicated to fullness, she started to say thing to me and it seemed to me she wanted to dance again. well since i was really drunk i was like fuck no i do not want to dance. well it turns out she was saying she wanted to go somewhere else and hook up. damn the langauge barrier. so i did not get to hook up with a ukranian girl. sorry man.

See J2, the thing about being white guys is that we can't dance. Obviously this is something you and I know very well. Another thing that we must realize is that girls of every color ( with maybe the exception of Indian girls) can cut a rug like it's nobodies business. That leaves us, the single white male who is looking to pull at a very large disadvantage. Girls want to dance and guys just want to pull. With the exception of super fast company, most girls aren't going to let us get their clothes off without some type of dancing. Dancing to girls is like pre-foreplay, you have to get them warmed up. Here is where liquor comes in. Personally, once I get some liquor (or beer) in me, I'm fine. I can dance, make a fool of myself, and generally get the girl without much problem. You just have to loosen up, realize you are in a foreign country and move to the beat. Don't worry about looking foolish, you probably will anyway. Just dance make the girl happy and have some fun while you are at it. Also, it may be helpful to carry around a pocket Ukrainian-English dictionary.

You fool, you let some Eastern European puss slip through your fingers because you wouldn't dance? Ugh, have I taught you nothing...

So, that's it, I found it pretty entertaining, now, we are using email to IM each other, it is slow, yet oddly satisfying.

Mood: Muttled
Music: Eisley

Saturday, May 14, 2005

More than I care for.

You know, one of the things I was looking forward to upon graduation from highschool was that life would have so much less drama in it. Well, turns our I was wrong. Although life does contain far less drama these days than it did in high school, it still contains more than I care for.

The past week at work has seemed like one drama after another. Sometimes, when I'm in the grooming room, bathing dogs it feels like I'm in a damn ladies hair salon. All those women, just gossiping and dramaing just grates on me. I've had enough. From kids coming to work high to crazy dog obsessed customers, I'm done.

Tomorrow is my off day, and I'm taking a J day. Getting up, lazing around, maybe a run. Then some time down by the pool in the sun. Then later, out to the garden for some vegtable therapy. Yeah, hopefully it will be a nice day, just what I need.

Mood: Tired as hell
Music: Alkaline Trio - Crimson

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

My new best friend.

It's pretty amazing how detailed the Lord of the Rings universe really is. From the three original books, so much has been published. For instance, Christopher Tolkien has published 12 volumes just on the history of Middle-earth.

I find that as I read, it is sometimes hard to keep up with all the ancillary characters, sidestories, and lineages that are introduced. This was really one of the obstacles that I faced the first time I picked up Return of the King, and one of the major reasons why I quit reading it.

Well, this time around, I have a secret weapon, something that I've been hearing about for several years now, but never really used. Wikipedia: the free encyclopedia is my new best friend. I have read so much, and found out so much more background information from Wikipedia that it is just ridiculous. This is such a great project and I encourage everyone to check it out and get hooked like I have. Heck, there is even a widget for your desktop to make searching even easier!

Mood: Itchy
Music: None

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Pleading my case

So here I was, being a lazy ass, just sort of hanging around the apartment slowly getting ready for the day. Taking a long shower, making up my bed, you know the usual "I have nothing to do so I'm just going to do my morning routine real slow today" sort of morning. Basically, just wasting time until 1:30 came around and I went to take my Anthropolgy final.

I saw the girl come online and decided to strike up a little chat with her. That's when this IM conversations happened:

[12:42] dhskicker: ready for the exam?

[12:42] the girl: huh?

[12:42] the girl: i just took it

[12:42] the girl: where were you?

[12:43] dhskicker: waht?

[12:43] dhskicker: it

[12:43] dhskicker: it's not at 2?

[12:43] the girl: no it was at 11

[12:43] dhskicker: aw fuck

[12:43] dhskicker: fuck fuck fuck

[12:43] dhskicker: what do i do?

[12:43] the girl: hmm

[12:43] the girl: well *professor wasnt there

[12:43] the girl: i would go up and talk to *Grad Student

[12:43] dhskicker: shit shit shit

[12:43] the girl: she proctored the exam

[12:43] dhskicker: is she in the lab?

[12:43] the girl: youll be fine

[12:43] the girl: yeah

[12:43] dhskicker: ok i'm gone

[12:43] the girl: im sure she will underatand, good luck!

[12:44] *** "the girl" signed off at Tue May 10 12:44:05 2005.

* Names changed to protect the innocent

Holy shit, I've never, ever missed a final. I can't believe I did it today. I had two oclock written down for a whole week, how could I have been so stupid. So, I throw on some clothes, put the beagle away, grab my pack and run down to the scooter. From there, I haul ass to campus and practically run up to the Anthropology lab. Once there, I find the grad student and begin pleading my case. At first she seemed confused and hesitant about letting me take the test, but another lab worker vouched for me and that helped.

So, I got to take the test, and it went well. Then, after the test, I got my grade back from the lab final. A 93. I don't know how I pulled that off, but hey I'll take all the As I can get.

So, alls well that ends well I guess. Now it's off to some reading before volunteering.

final Final

Shortly, I'll be heading over to campus for my final Final. The semester has been a good one. I'm pretty pleased with where my grades will end up and overall, I think I learned a lot and enjoyed most of my classes. Now, it's time to embark on my last summer vacation ever. I'm not sure how I feel about that, mostly bittersweet I guess.

One of my main goals for the summer is to make it all the way through my DVD collection. Recently, I have been devouring the Appendicies of my LOTR: Extended Editions. The extras have been pretty good, but by discs 5 and 6, it kind of felt like they were being a bit rushed and not as in depth as the earlier discs. I just finished the last one, and now it is time to go back and watch the extras on the actual movie discs.

I've also dived headlong into the books, currently, I'm about 160 pages into The Fellowship and enjoying the heck out of it. The experience has been much better than the time where I just tried to start at Return of the King (what a mistake).

Well, It's off to the final, then some volunteering and finally, some gardening to round out the day.

Mood: Relieved
Music: Acceptance

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Backside 180: a blog of torment and pleasure, mostly torment

While I was running the other day, I contemplated changing the name of the blog. I was thinking something like: backside 180: a blog of torment and pleasure, mostly torment. I think that pretty much sums it up for me. I don't think I'm going to change the name, but I did consider it for about a mile.

Life has been pretty rough the last week or so. Finals have been bearing down upon me and delivering quite a beating. Things with N are no on the upswing this week (yes, I realize it changes on a weekly basis.) She has started seeing the Dude again, and for whatever reason, that is really hard for me. For a while, I was starting to annoy her and I think that is what drove her to him. So, she has been spending large amounts of time, including nights, with him and I have been spending more time alone. It wears on me.

At the moment, I have a decidedly pessimistic view about life and the world. I'm in need of something to pull me out of this funk.

Thursday night, after the bathroom incident, I went to bed sad. On Friday, deciding that I was tired of others putting me through so much torture, I would be the one to inflict some pain on myself. I went for a run with the intention of running for about 40 minutes. As I reached my turnaround point, I decided to press on. In the end, I covered 7.1 miles in 1:02:01. It was a good run, but I paid for it yesterday. Maybe it was the direct sunlight and the heat, but after only fifteen minutes, I felt as though I was going to pass out.

Last night, I went out and shot some pool with a friend, we talked and tried to drown our sorrows away. I'm starting to learn, at least for me, that it doesn't really work. Not only do I feel just as shitty mentally in the morning, but I also feel beaten physically.

Maybe some time in the garden this afternoon, spend weeding, watering, and tending to my plants will provide some therapy.

It doesn't help the situation that today is/would be our 3rd anniversary. I don't understand why I care if it seems she doesn't. I don't understand how she can detach herself so easily but I can't. Why do I hold on to nothing more than strings of hope?

Mood: Grey
Music: Dave Matthews - Stand Up

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Having no physical reason

Having no physical reason to, I just walked into my bathroom, stuck my fingers far down my throat and puked. Up came the spaghetti and cookies I had for dinner... That's so fucked up.

the sudden urge

Disgusted with myself and others, I have the sudden urge to throw up. If only it were that simple...

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

The days of $62 dollar power bills

I hate my roommate.

The stupid redneck ass roommate is back in town. I'm so glad he was kicked out of school this semester, because with him not here, life was so much better. It was so much easier not cleaning up after his filthy ass and dealing with is nasty stinky shit all over the place all the time.

But, alas it has all come to an end and he is back in town. So far, my other roommate (whom I tolerate, but still have issues with) and I have not turned on the air conditioner at all this spring. We have kept the apartment relativly comfortable by keeping the windows open, and just generally tolerating temperatures up to 75 or so.

It's not even warm in the apartment now, but stupid redneck assface has decided it is too warm and turned on the AC. -- I just looked at my little weather station thing, and it has informed me that it is currently 72.0 degrees in the house. Not anywhere near AC turning on temperature. Now, if it were say a balmy 76, I might understand it, but not for a chilly 72.0. I hate him so much...

I guess the days of $62 dollar power bills are gone now that fuckface is back...

Mood: Pissy
Music: The Starting Line.

The view upstream from 5 Mile. June, 2004. Washougal River, Wa. Posted by Hello

Testing the snow melt water. June, 2004. 5 Mile, Washougal River, Washington. Posted by Hello

Cliff jumping at 5 Mile. June 2004. Washougal River, Wa. Posted by Hello

PB&J and Chex Mix for all!

Geez, that last post was terrible, I guess it's just a reminder to never blog whilst drunken... moving on.

Yesterday turned out to be an absolutely delightful day. Just the kind of day I was in need of. The weekend down at N's Mom's was great. It was fun seeing the family and absolutely stuffing my gut for three whole days. Considering all the food I ate, I'm suprised I didn't come back any fatter. Monday was a day from hell. That's why I came home and downed a six pack of Amberbock.

Yesterday, I got up and headed to work, still partially drunk. After getting off at 10, I came home and put in Appendix Three of the LOTR: Extended Edition. I watched the documentaries for a while before nodding of shortly after 11. N dropped by at Noon to have some lunch with me. PB&J and Chex Mix for all! After running to campus for a quick meeting, I cam home and curled up on my bed again. I finished off Appendix Three and slot loaded Appendix Four. That's kind of how I spent the afternoon, learning more about Lord of the Rings that I ever needed, but always wanted to know.

Later, I hit the streets for a 45 minute jog across town and back, totaling almost 6 miles. The rest of the evening was spend laboring over Chinese take out and the book version of LOTR.

Today is shaping up in similar fashion. A nice break from the routine.

Mood: Here and there
Music: Letter Kills

Monday, May 02, 2005

Feel her next to me.

Walking back from the refridgerator, I stop to throw the bolt on the front door. As my pajamas swing off my hips, I walk back to my computer. A fresh Amberbock in one hand and a tall glass of water in the other, I'm all set for a drunken blogging escape...

I have to tell you, I've been thinking alot about the girl lately. Today, on our last day of class, I looked at her across the room and wished she would look at me so I could flash her a smile. I remembered that night, thinking that I have have not had a better night since. Wishing I could feel her next to me.

AT this point, I shoud stop. I"m drunk, and it took me way too long to write the preceeding paragraphs. i will continue this post at some point, but for now, I must pass out on my empty bed.

Mood: Eh?
Music: Park