Sunday, August 07, 2005

Suggestions welcome.

How do you tell someone, No, I don't want a quickee.? It's Sunday morning and last night when I talked to the Scientist, the plan was to do something tonight. We are going to go bowling. I told her that this morning I didn't have much to do, but did have some stuff planned. After I got out of the shower, after my run, I had a text message from her saying, "U want a quicke?" Well, no, I actually don't want a quckiee. I'm trying to have a nice quiet morning on my day off and I'm supposed to see you later. How do I say that without being rude?

I last saw her Thursday night and the last time we slept together was last weekend, I think. I like sex, but I guess my drive just isn't as high as it once was (How sad is that, I'm only fucking 23 and losing my libido already). I mentioned over dinner on Thursday that my life is about to get crazier than it already is. With school, running, working and job hunting, I don't think I'm going to have much time to devote to a girl. Maybe me saying that was my way of hinting that I'm not that into her anymore. Sure it was great at first, but maybe now I think, "I'm never going to fall in love with this girl, I like you, your lots of fun, but maybe I'm just not that into her."

So, how again, do you tell someone that you don't want a quickee? Suggestions welcome. (Schmims this means you).

Update: Being too much of a gentleman to just plain out ignore the message, I decided to reply and try to worm my way out of it. I settled on this reply:

J: How about a double tonight instead?

which led to this subsequent exchange:

Scientist: Whimp!
J: Maybe so...
J: Had neighbor trouble again last night, didn't sleep well, again. (Partially true, but mostly just a cop out)
Scientist: Should have been here, slept like a baby. (No thanks, I wanted to spend last night alone, in my bed thanks)
Scientist: Doesn't matter now, urge left me, I was forced 2 play with myself.

Mood: Not in the mood for a quickee I tell ya!
Music: Motion City Soundtrack


Blogger schmims said...

First of all, I could kick you in the teeth for turning down sex AND bragging about it. Ass!

I think the best way is to just flat out tell her. Don't make up some lame excuse or anything like that. Just tell her that you don't think it would work out and that it's better to just go ahead and end it. I always appreciate the honesty.

I must warn you that last time I used this approach, it did not go so well with The Lawyer, but then again he did act like a 5 year old so...

5:18 AM  
Blogger schmims said...

Also, this is why I have the three month rule, no booty for the first three. As soon as you guys get some, you change your mind and are out the door. And I'm sick of it.

See my blog for the wrong way of breaking up with her.

7:28 AM  
Blogger Marit said...

I'm with Schmims. You need to enforce the 3 month booty rule. And, in the meantime----don't dick around. Just end it. Get the drama out of the way and move on.

5:25 PM  
Blogger J said...

Ok, but what's so magic about three months. Why three and not two or four? Are there exceptions to this rule? Do you tell the dude you are dating or just hold out?

10:58 AM  
Blogger schmims said...

Didn't see that you commented on my comment here. Marit and I were just discussing relationships/sex in general and you came up so I was checking your blog.

Three months is enough time for the newness of the relationship to wear off and you've gotten to know the person a little better than on a superficial/attaction level to know if there's something more worth investigating. I am in no way on who sleeps around, but I have had enough relationships in which we date for a month or so, sleep together for a month or so and then he or I decided this isn't going to work. I'm just old enough and wise enough now to know better and to do better. If I ever do find someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, I don't want to have a history of these two month sexual relationships because if I do find that someone who is worth spending my life with, he deserves better than that.

And a guy who is mainly in it for the sex isn't going to stick around for three months.

8:10 AM  

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