Thursday, October 20, 2005

Uncomfortable, awkward situations.

I knew it was coming. I knew it. Take a look at the comments for the last post and you'll see what I mean. It was inevitable. I knew as soon as I wrote about the crush, someone would come along and say, "Dude, you have to let her know." So it came as no suprise when our good friend Marit was the first.

The thing is, just like most hot blooded American Dudes, I've had my fair share of crushes throughout the years. Most, I've never done anything about. Some like The Scientist, turn out to be a little fling that was fun for a while. But mostly, I just let them fester and eventually fade away -- and there is a reason for that.

I took that advice once. In High School. I had a huge crush on a girl. She was in my drama class, and damn cute. We talked everyday, we flirted, we had fun. Then one day, on the advice of my friend, I told her what I thought about her. Things were never the same after that. Things got wierd. Sure it was in highschool and uncomfortable, awkward situations were the norm but the good thing I had, having her as a friend whom I just happened to lust after, well that ended once I let my 'true' feelings be known.

That's why I sit back and say nothing to this creative girl. Plus, she's so... everything, that she's probably way out of my league anyway.

So, I sit back, and we talk every now and then and eventually we will lose contact and go about our lives, and one day, I'll probably forget about her and things will be ok... Better than the alternative of saying, "hey, I dig you, wanna go out?" and being shot down and things getting all wierd.

Yeah, maybe I'll never know unless I try, but maybe I won't end up with a broken heart if I don't try either. So, I'm standing on the edge, ready to jump, knowing I probably never will. Sad, but true.


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